for a moment i thought i was there already.
but i've come to realise, that it's never that easy. i probably will never get there.
cliche as it is, it's not about how fast you get there, it's about the journey there.
as it hits me, i figure out that that's not the most important thing in life. gotta live for things more worth it. FOCUS. :)
on a different note, i miss floorball. darn.
koperal zoe, coming thru! :D
they will come when it's time.
of add maths and office hours, the hols were not bad-lah.
Labels: adolescence, challenges, confused, random
.. i messed up my mid-year exam papers. blehh.
.. i got to know new people.
- i love NATASHA NEOH my squishy love. :D she is like the sister i never had. ahah. and we bully each other. WE ROCK. you amuse meeeee. *sayangs.
- DON SHAKIR the don. lol. DRAGON DON. the ever random dude that never fails to cheer me up. *knees.
- SOMEONE. i don't know. but i love you. =)
.. i lost my memory cards. so i'm starved of using the camera. o.o can die weih. i miss vaining. xD
.. i got alot of cool stuff. lame but cool. i wish i could post it up here.
... i felt like playing floorball. no, actually that one everyday. not just recently. LOL
.. i am gonna go on a strict diet. again. blahh.
burnt out.
Labels: busy, confused, exams, friends, love, lovess, people, random, stress, tired
admitted. i've been selfish all this while. yes, there were times when i thought it was pointless. like there was no need. i didn't see the whole picture. it's slowly sinking in. i'm trying, gasping for every bit of awareness. that will open my eyes.
i'm praying God will touch me through floorball, like never before. that a huge revelation will come to me. that i will know my purpose, and when i play, i know what i'm playing for. why i'm there. and i'll stand CONVICTED.
i watched glee, and suddenly realised, when you have feet that can stand by themselves and that function properly, no matter how much you take them for granted, they WORK. imagine if your feet couldn't function at all. and you're in a wheelchair.
i'd stare and regrets will flood me everytime i'm watching a match. cuz i wish i could be there again on court. playing just like the rest. i'd regret not giving my best, 110% on court when i had the chance. wouldn't you feel the same?
you may not have the fastest or swiftest or most well-positioned legs ..
but if you give your 110%,
that could be all the legs you need.
thank you aso. thank you so much for all you've done so far. i've realised how much i've dissapointed the people that put so much effort in this. regrets hit me hard.
i'm trying and it hurts. real bad.
Labels: challenges, confused, floorball, frontliners, GOD is in control, revelation
I finally have to face it. sooner or later. i pick now.
the big question is ..
IS floorball taking me away from God? and my studies?
it's so hard to bring yourself to acknowledge that something so huge in your life is finally taking its toll on you.
since the time i first got introduced to floorball, it's been close to half a year. i don't know, i somehow didn't really have a flair for floorball neither did i have a liking for it immediately. slowly, after constant urging from pei li and aso, i finally made it. 27th february was my first frontliners training. it was awesome.
sure. i love 300 with all my heart. that i cannot deny. i love the little kids. their like family. but .. the sport? i feel so guilty saying this but, 1). i don't htink i'll go far. 2). i've tonned down so much. not an advantage no more. 3). it's tkaing me away from the most important things in one's life.
if ever anything replaces my main love, or becomes top priority apart from God, then that thing has to go. i say this not because i live it, because i know it's the right thing to do. i'm not righteous, i don't have a clean record, nor am i perfect. but the matter of fact is, God comes first. when i die, it's not floorball i'm gonna take with me. that's not what's gonna get me to heaven.
truly guilty now. HONEST. kuan yang, if you happen to read this. i know, my bad. i don't know. i guess it was pressure? i'm sorryyyy. i need time ot sort stuff out. might be taking a break from floorball to get my priorities straight.
this stinks. floorball was the main thing i had, considering i don't have a boyf and all.
but right, I DON'T KNOW NOW. geez i failed. blah.
gotta take a breather. set things right. if i don't have floorball, honestly speaking, i won't die. i won't go to hell. but if i don't have God, my creator, how can i live a single day?
dilemma-ed. gone. exams coming. psshttt. DIE.
Labels: confused, depression, disappointed, emo, faith, floorball, frustration, God, sad
Girls can wear jeans
And cut their hair short
Wear shirts and boots
'Cause it's OK to be a boy
But for a boy to look like a girl is degrading
'Cause you think that being a girl is degrading
But secretly you'd love to know what it's like
Wouldn't you
What it feels like for a girl
Silky smooth
Lips as sweet as candy, baby
Tight blue jeans
Skin that shows in patches
Strong inside but you don't know it
Good little girls they never show it
When you open up your mouth to speak
Could you be a little weak
Do you know what it feels like for a girl
Do you know what it feels like in this world
For a girl
Hair that twirls on finger tips so gently, baby
Hands that rest on jutting hips repenting
Hurt that's not supposed to show
And tears that fall when no one knows
When you're trying hard to be your best
Could you be a little less
Do you know what it feels like for a girl
Do you know what it feels like in this world
What it feels like for a girl
Strong inside but you don't know it
Good little girls they never show it
When you open up your mouth to speak
Could you be a little weak
Do you know what it feels like for a girl
Do you know what it feels like in this world
For a girl
In this world
Do you know
Do you know
Do you know what it feels like for a girl
What it feels like in this world
I almost cried listening to glee's version of this. sorry.
ily, babe.
Labels: confused, emo, frustrated, sad, song, stuff
it's amazing how much a guy can change because of one girl.
it's shocking how much a person can change in one year.
it's awesome how much a person can be changed because of the knowledge of God.
it's wonderful how much a perosn can change thanks to something seemingly insignificant a friend said.
Changes. people change. alot. from time to time. for the better or for the worse.
Changes like these make you think and wonder and ask questions like, " How?" and " Why?" and " When?"
They get me thinking. having people ask you to change or not to change. it puzzles me sometimes.
Some people just do 180's. like, TOTAL MAKEOVERS. the nice friendly dude you once knew just turned his back on you. as if he never knew you.
the innocent nerd who once didn't make any difference now makes all the difference to you. weird, no?
some people just DO.
Labels: adolescence, change, confused, growing up, people, wondering
Been extremely lazy to blog. yes i have. smack me, i give you the right to. xD
updates.
SUKPEN. was the bomb. If ya'll don't already know, we went for sukpen and represented BJ. :D
yes, newcomers, with exceptions. li pei, boey, sonia, eureka and lisa. the rest were very new. :)
we got into the semis, lost to innebandy and ztec (again). so we got fourth lah. still, which was very good? but also cause the only other very good team in our group was ztec, and we had pei and boey. if not, we couldn't have gotten that far.
yes, it was fantastic. met eulene and sarah there. had a great time going crazy with them. =]
a million thanks to chris and penny, team BJ's coaches for helping us and being there to give support and encourgement. :)
to pei li, sonia, boey, eureka and lisa. for helping to bring our team up.
to sharon, eulene, sarah and beverly for providing cheer when we were tired.
congrats to to li pei, who got the award for being the all-star defender or something. greaaaat. xD
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
moving on..
BIBLE CAMP is like, FIVE DAYS AWAY!! bible camp!! bible camp!! lol.
abit high now. this year i promise you, is going to be a blast. very close, alot of bonding and FUN. i won't let anything ruin it. please no arguments again. like last year.
GOD is gonna be with us! I pray that He will touch every camper there. That we'll learn and grow. totally. i can't waitttt. :D
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
made up my mind. FRONTLINERS it is. next year. i've gotta cut down on other activities if i'm gonna commit. great. *cries*
just when i thought i was high and could go even higher, depression brings me down.
seriously, i think alot of people are gonna die of depression one day. -.-
i'm here for you man. dude, don't dieeeee.
you try to look happy,
so that the one depressed doesn't become even more depressed.
but deep down inside, you feel exactly the same way.
Labels: BIBLE CAMP, confused, crap, depression, high-ness, whee~
i miss you already. i can't wait till 20 lah. it's too long.
can i start now? :D didn't know i wouldn't be able to wait though. wanna go jog? xD
did you ever feel that way in the first place?
or were those JUST WORDS?
Labels: confused, crap, wondering, you.
Labels: confused, crap, frustrated, mad, pictures, why?
i just. ugh. i don't get it. WHY? hurt. pfft. shh..
Labels: confused, crap, disappointed, emo
FIREBRANDS or FRONTLINERS? ZTEC or INNEBANDY?
Labels: confused, floorball, stuff
