Monday, September 22, 2014
What Is Love?
Ever know how you get that really intense feeling? Like the type that surges all over you, all through your whole body? The really frequent ones? Basically every time you see someone who really loves you look at you with such loving eyes and a really, really, sheepish, unknowingly romanticly sweet smile? The crooked type which makes him look really goofy and you feel all warm and fuzzy all over before feeling too shy to keep staring that you have to look away?
Really? Is it just me? Hm
I feel similar when my mother smiles at me through Skype/Google hangout when I see her face on my blurry phone screen.
These intense feelings may not be common to everyone. I've come to realise that empathy is not a common trait in everyone, with varying levels felt by each person.
And empathy has both its good and bad sides.
I personally get them ever so often nowadays. All it takes is for me to look at my boyfriend sit across from me doing his work, stop for a split second to smile at me and I can feel the tears welling up in my little heart.
I just need to see my mother smile or laugh on the video call and I could cry a river because I miss her so much.
I just need to see or hear something really kind or loving done by a church friend to another, because of the massive impact of the gospel on the other person and I feel like breaking down.
Most of all, every time I think or talk to someone about how Jesus could sacrifice his life, his all then die for the sins of the world, specifically my own sins to redeem me from death to life into his glorious kingdom, I can almost immediately feel the tears welling up in my eyes.
I don't think this is just a symptom of an extremely emotional or neurotic person.
I don't even think it's because of the massive empathy that I supposedly have.
I think this is a response of a sinner. A sinner who understands the grace given so freely, so generously and so lovingly by her LORD and Saviour, Jesus Christ. A sinner who still struggles wih understanding why an all-powerful, all-knowing God would come down to take on human flesh and die for her sins.
A redeemed sinner. A new-living Christian. A soul who yearns for her Saviour's kingdom come.
This is mercy, this is justice.
This is grace.
This is love.
GOD is in control, 12:11 AM.
Sunday, September 21, 2014
Marriage is a Choice.
Some people talk about 'liking' someone, about having a 'crush', about 'first love's, about 'puppy love', about love-hate relationships, about unrequited love and so on.
I'm still learning about relationships, about dating/courtship, about loving someone else etc. For me at least, most books I read are regarding marriage - the 'serious' things, because isn't it pointless talking about the small and frivolously shallow issues? Like getting to know someone else, 'having fun', asking small 'unimportant' questions like what your partner's favourite colour is, what they like doing, what their childhood dreams were etc?
Is the 'Getting-To-Know-You' phase really useless like how I think it is?
Should everyone just have an all-or-nothing attitude to relationships? And thus forget about actually finding out about whether the other person is someone you love and want to spend the rest of your life with, just assuming you will definitely be able to tolerate everything they throw at you?
I guess what I'm trying to get at is this: The dating or courtship phase is actually for both people to find out more about their partner, to see if they are really someone they WANT to spend the rest of their lives with. It's not just an obligation, or a duty, or an act done out of neutrality or indifference. Because marriage is a big thing. Marriage is a commitment. Marriage is life-long. Marriage is 'till death do us part'. Marriage is 'for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health'.
Marriage is unto God. Marriage is the service to God with your sexuality.
Marriage is a model of Christ's relationship with the church.
Marriage is love
Marriage is not begrudging, not unwilling, not forced, not involuntary.
Marriage is not half-minded and not done out of fear of loneliness.
No one should be coerced into it, neither should it be done out of guilt.
Marriage is not done out of selfishness.
Marriage is a life-long commitment to the good of your spouse.
Marriage is a choice.
GOD is in control, 11:42 PM.
Saturday, September 20, 2014
GOD is in control, 11:56 AM.
Friday, September 12, 2014
After 18 weeks of being together, after all the frustrations, disagreements, joys, laughter, teasing, tickling, love, hugs, care, crying, calls, texts, messages and happy moments..
After all that.
We're still going strong together.
Even through the hard times, through the easy times, the good times, the bad times, despite our sinfulness and our imperfections, we're still pushing through together.
Thanks for being so romantic and loving, my dear.
My favourite curry laksa which I've been wanting to eat for such a long time! :D
Sweet until like that.
You da bes, love.
Thanks for always reminding me of God's love for His chosen people and creation.
I love you so, so much!
GOD is in control, 1:13 PM.
Wednesday, September 10, 2014
The bane of an ENFP.
So many more than just one reason. :(
Excuses, excuses, excuses.
I am so tired I just want to hide from the world for a bit.
Take a break.
Mid-sem break please come faster.
To quote a close friend:
"Zoe, you look like your soul has been sucked out of you lately."
I couldn't agree more. Since winter break (was there even a break? :( Didn't feel like it!), I've just been on overdrive. Need to learn to balance out and juggle all my commitments and activities.
So, so, so tired I feel myself burning out slowly.
Will this only get worse? :/
GOD is in control, 12:10 AM.