6 months. lovey-dovey.
kew: " you were very quiet that day. "
zoe: " so.. really? i was thinking mah. "
kew: *grins and smiles* " yalah. you normally talk ALOT mah. "
zoe: " yeah i normally talk alot. cannot think and talk mah. *pauses and gasps* so that means i don't think when i talk. (which means i don think most of the time. since i talk alot) xD "
ah pei li. she thinks i crap alot. uh, which i do. :D
moving on... i have been going to 4 arif for three weeks. or so. and yeah, there's pain. duh. it's obviously not what i would have wanted, not going my way. and that makes me down so much of the time.
but you know what? it's all going away. God has helped. alot. i've learned to be more hardworking. xD ( i actually do homework nowadays.) i've learnt to enjoy nureen and nina more. before they leave. i still talk to hari like the good times.
what worries me is when nina and nureen are gone. i guess i could mix with the girls and all, but it wouldnt be the same. i'd feel unwanted. not-in-the-gang. it's just, they have their stuff to talk about. and like, i'm not part of the gang. hey, obviously, you don't want some girl barging in your privacy just coz her friends left for boarding school right?
not that i don't talk to them now, but it's just not the same anymore. i wish eulene and the form fives were in my form. :(
okay. so for those title readers, you be wondering what it's all about. i've sort of pondered. last year, it was fun, thrilling, full of ups and downs. the time i spent with that somebody, it was satisfying. but i never really questioned myself, what would happen when it all ends?
it's all coming now, and i can feel it. distance. barriers. we don't even talk anymore. it's like he never cared. never cares. HAH. i know, my fault for getting involved. the pain and hurt after the joy. i don't want that anymore. not after another broken relationship. i've experienced enough of those. and yes, being the long-winded me. i've FINALLY come to my conclusion.
yup, i can do that for six months. i'm not gonna get my feelings involved. no BGR for that period of time. EASY, no? hahah. at least 6 months is my goal lah. it'll save me from heartache, wasting time and energy and i can concentrate on homework. xD (homework has got to be my favourite thing to do now) :D
now you may say, aiyah. six months only wad, it's not like u get a boy knocking at your door everyday begging you to be his gf right? WRONG. lol. what i mean is not liking anybody, eros way. not even thinking about getting involved. girls spend way too much time on this. at least i did? x]
so that's it. my resolution for the time being. SIX months whole. no lovey-dovey. i doubt i'll live to regret it. =)
i have school tomorrow. :O tuesday floorball training with miss kew. weds maybe floorball training for seniors. and friday, for the juniors. i have syahbandar on wednesdayyy. :( i don't like house practice. hahah.
i love yoghurt. PEACH and MANGO flavour. strawberry is getting too common.
none but Jesus ; brooke fraser.
Labels: adolescence, floorball, funny, growing up, love, school, stuff, unlabelled
GOD is in control, 8:01 PM.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Blessed belated new year? *grins sheepishly*
yeah yeah.. i know lah
abit very late. been busy mah. :P
so i'm a year older already. that's what january babies get. aww sad, no? we grow old so fast. *shakes head in disapproval* TSK.
i did get alot of birthday wishes though. x]
THANK YOU to those who remembered. :D
the first week of school was FUN. it was. orientation with the form ones was exciting, tiring and challenging. :) but still FUN. xD
so i sorta kicked of the year with:-
- vice pres. of st. john's.
- secretary of music club.
- ajk for floorball.
no i'm not bragging. it's alot of work seriously.
owh, and not forgetting, a whole lot of stress
from and FLOORBALL. xD
i had talks with jason and pei li. frontliners it is. i don't know how many times i've said that, but this time's for real. =]
CF. first meeting of the year's tomorrow. God bless the meeting i pray. (:
honestly, my walk with God at just the beginning of the year hasn't been what i would have wanted. the fire keeps growing so dim at times and i start to wonder, what kind of christian am i if i'm not spending time with my creator?
ming hwee asked me the question, " do i have a heart for souls? "
i hesitated before answering. do i really have a heart for souls?
maybe i do. on the surface. thinking about it all, it's opened my eyes. looking at some of my best friends, spending such wonderful momments with them. isn't this what i want in heaven? aren't these the people that mean so much to me? wouldn't i want the best for them? would i want to see them suffer next time? for eternity?
the answer is no. i want my grandparents saved. my bestfriends. even people i don't know. sometimes, my heart aches when i see peole who claim to be christians not living the way they should. and i don't have the right to judge, but i question their salvation sometimes. i really do.
having said that, i check myself. wadabout me? am i living the way i ought to? as a free person not under the bondage of sin anymore? is this liberty too much for me to handle?
"my chains are gone. i've been set free. my God my saviour, has ransomed me.
and like a flood, His mercy rains, unending love, amazing grace. "
so what is my response to this great love? this agape love?
i'm trying slowly, to change. to spend time with God. to listen to Him.
- work has been piling up. homework that is. x] ahh!
a few things i dislike.
- the top part of the floorball stick coming off when you play. annoying weih. xD
- getting demoralised by pei. thanks to my big mouth. (:
- having no mood to play floorball or captainball. like NO WAY. :O yes, it does happen.
i just discovered that i'm best at midfielding. for most games. i'm normally centre or midfield. not usually forward. (defending is a nono because i'm too short. xD )
yeah. 'cuz i can't score. hahah. i mean, i shoot direct balls. and being short is not an advantage when i score that way. they prefer lob balls. which, i'm terrible at.
why? coz i hate lobbing balls. xD partly cuz i can't. haha. they just too slow for me. =D direct balls - my best play.
yes, excuses. x)
okay, enough about games. xD
i have stuff to post, recent one-liners i had. shall post them up another day. BAHAH.
you know i never seem to be able to post what i say i will. :D
school tomorrow! cf & floorball! and chem, bio, physics and add maths on the same day. HOW COOL IS THAT?
Labels: :) hepi, challenges, change, God, Jesus, love, new year, skool?, stress, updates
GOD is in control, 5:54 PM.
i know this post is abit late. 2009 has been a rollercoaster for me. no matter what i thank God almighty for bringing me through everything - the ups and the downs this year. Hallelujah!
this 2009, i have been...
1st jan - sleepover at natalie and tabitha's house.
january - kit seong and sheryl's wedding.
may - aaron and lee ying's wedding.
church-ing. - doing church activities, bonding with siblings. :)
me and sarah, AGAPE day - feb.
me and justin, GLO graduation - oct.
me and yi xin. 25th dec. - christmas day.
29th may. - christian fellowship celebration.
oct - Cf+ YWAM-ers floorball meeting.
august. - merdeka day.
on duty. :)
april. - prefects camp.
november. - prefects annual dinner.
ah guan. =]
officers of offering. ♥ much.
O.O.O girls. xoxo.
november 14th. - yi xin's birthday party.
and yes, not to forget a large amount of pig-face-ing through out the year. xD
#1. - cf + YWAM.
#2. - prefects annual dinner.
#5. - bible camp '09.
#6. - natalie's birthday party.
ultimate pig-face of the year.
this year was full of interesting, depressing, heart attacking, fun-filled, memorable momments and events. :)
although it's goodbye 2009 on the outside, everything that happened will be remembered and treasured.
truly, i thank and praise God for this wonderful year.
i learnt and experienced so much!
1. my baptism. - 12th april 2009.
2. first ever BJCF was established! i learnt to play floorball.
3. 3 half relationships in a year. =/
4. teno-rians went official. xD nureen, nina and me.
5. sarah, me and yi xin got closer together.
6. the babis was established. daniel, eulene and me. ♥s
7. i learnt so much more about relationships.
8. school choir got 6th placing! fantastic!
9. got closer to emmilyn, melissa and suleen. :)
10. learnt depend on God much more.
till next year? (:
Labels: awesomeness, church.., glad, lovess, my year, people, pictures, whee~
GOD is in control, 5:29 PM.