Labels: busy, faith, stuff, sustain
I finally have to face it. sooner or later. i pick now.
the big question is ..
IS floorball taking me away from God? and my studies?
it's so hard to bring yourself to acknowledge that something so huge in your life is finally taking its toll on you.
since the time i first got introduced to floorball, it's been close to half a year. i don't know, i somehow didn't really have a flair for floorball neither did i have a liking for it immediately. slowly, after constant urging from pei li and aso, i finally made it. 27th february was my first frontliners training. it was awesome.
sure. i love 300 with all my heart. that i cannot deny. i love the little kids. their like family. but .. the sport? i feel so guilty saying this but, 1). i don't htink i'll go far. 2). i've tonned down so much. not an advantage no more. 3). it's tkaing me away from the most important things in one's life.
if ever anything replaces my main love, or becomes top priority apart from God, then that thing has to go. i say this not because i live it, because i know it's the right thing to do. i'm not righteous, i don't have a clean record, nor am i perfect. but the matter of fact is, God comes first. when i die, it's not floorball i'm gonna take with me. that's not what's gonna get me to heaven.
truly guilty now. HONEST. kuan yang, if you happen to read this. i know, my bad. i don't know. i guess it was pressure? i'm sorryyyy. i need time ot sort stuff out. might be taking a break from floorball to get my priorities straight.
this stinks. floorball was the main thing i had, considering i don't have a boyf and all.
but right, I DON'T KNOW NOW. geez i failed. blah.
gotta take a breather. set things right. if i don't have floorball, honestly speaking, i won't die. i won't go to hell. but if i don't have God, my creator, how can i live a single day?
dilemma-ed. gone. exams coming. psshttt. DIE.
Labels: confused, depression, disappointed, emo, faith, floorball, frustration, God, sad
Do you really? really?
Is there that much hope in me?
That much trust, that I can do it?
Are you sure this time, like how you're never wrong..
Is it true that you really believe in me?
Why all the weight on me?
Are you overestimating?
'Cuz it's ME we're talking about.
Don't know whether to be proud,
Cause I have no confidence,
I doubt I've got what it takes, unlike how you say I do.
Coz everytime i try, it's like i'm failing. falling. like i can't get it right at all. no matter how hard i push i seem to fail.
But I've gotta add some spirit, gotta add some life.
Gotta have that self confidence, that passion, that drive.
I trust what you say,
Cuz if i don't believe you, if i don't agree,
It's like I'm bringing you down..
But it feels like for the first time,
Someone actually believes in me now,
That I can do it.
I'll show it.
I'll prove it. To you and to the world..
That your belief in me was REAL.
though i don't see it or get it now, i won't give up. cause someone actually thinks i've got talent. that i have what it takes.
though i myself doubt it.
HOPE. it drives you.
i'll try my very best. if you say i can, i believe i can.
my aim is SPARTANS.
Labels: 300, faith, floorball, frontliners, GOD is in control, hope, spartans, trust
