kew: " you were very quiet that day. "
zoe: " so.. really? i was thinking mah. "
kew: *grins and smiles* " yalah. you normally talk ALOT mah. "
zoe: " yeah i normally talk alot. cannot think and talk mah. *pauses and gasps* so that means i don't think when i talk. (which means i don think most of the time. since i talk alot) xD "
kew: *LOL*
ah pei li. she thinks i crap alot. uh, which i do. :D
moving on... i have been going to 4 arif for three weeks. or so. and yeah, there's pain. duh. it's obviously not what i would have wanted, not going my way. and that makes me down so much of the time.
but you know what? it's all going away. God has helped. alot. i've learned to be more hardworking. xD ( i actually do homework nowadays.) i've learnt to enjoy nureen and nina more. before they leave. i still talk to hari like the good times.
what worries me is when nina and nureen are gone. i guess i could mix with the girls and all, but it wouldnt be the same. i'd feel unwanted. not-in-the-gang. it's just, they have their stuff to talk about. and like, i'm not part of the gang. hey, obviously, you don't want some girl barging in your privacy just coz her friends left for boarding school right?
not that i don't talk to them now, but it's just not the same anymore. i wish eulene and the form fives were in my form. :(
okay. so for those title readers, you be wondering what it's all about. i've sort of pondered. last year, it was fun, thrilling, full of ups and downs. the time i spent with that somebody, it was satisfying. but i never really questioned myself, what would happen when it all ends?
it's all coming now, and i can feel it. distance. barriers. we don't even talk anymore. it's like he never cared. never cares. HAH. i know, my fault for getting involved. the pain and hurt after the joy. i don't want that anymore. not after another broken relationship. i've experienced enough of those. and yes, being the long-winded me. i've FINALLY come to my conclusion.
6 months.
yup, i can do that for six months. i'm not gonna get my feelings involved. no BGR for that period of time. EASY, no? hahah. at least 6 months is my goal lah. it'll save me from heartache, wasting time and energy and i can concentrate on homework. xD (homework has got to be my favourite thing to do now) :D
now you may say, aiyah. six months only wad, it's not like u get a boy knocking at your door everyday begging you to be his gf right? WRONG. lol. what i mean is not liking anybody, eros way. not even thinking about getting involved. girls spend way too much time on this. at least i did? x]
so that's it. my resolution for the time being. SIX months whole. no lovey-dovey. i doubt i'll live to regret it. =)
i have school tomorrow. :O tuesday floorball training with miss kew. weds maybe floorball training for seniors. and friday, for the juniors. i have syahbandar on wednesdayyy. :( i don't like house practice. hahah.
i love yoghurt. PEACH and MANGO flavour. strawberry is getting too common.
none but Jesus ; brooke fraser.
Labels: adolescence, floorball, funny, growing up, love, school, stuff, unlabelled
